1) Where ever you go, there you are!

2) What's the most (timing) critical part of a joke?

3) Read what I meant, not what I wrote.

4) Did you hear that the football league changed their offical drink to apple juice?
   They heard that O.J. can kill you.

5) Visualize whirled peas.

6) If you stand by and the watch go by, it will!

:-)